BEFORE IT FADES INTO OBLIVION

"It could be luck,
It could be god,
It could be blessings,
It could be my decisions,
May be I am instinctive,
May be I am just a bloody fluke".

The whole is always more than the sum of its parts.

There are 2 reasons as to why I write here today. The first reason being that I had promised a few near & dear ones that I shall script the detailed travelogue of my experiences, learnings, lessons & my journey at IIM Raipur. The second reason is more so compelling as when a few years down the line when memory begins to fade owing to both age and circumstances of life, this piece written here would jog me down the memory lane and give me a reason to smile by reminding me of the beautiful days I spent in the institute.

Let me admit, I did not get into IIM-R by first choice but today am I willing to trade the beautiful experiences & memories I had for say a hypothetical seat in a B-School I was ambitious for 2 years back. CERTAINLY NO.

Much transpired between 24 June,2023 & 26 March,2025. (The dates of me joining & leaving the gates of the beautiful institution, God was gracious enough to bless me with). As I write here today, there is no concrete structure or flow of articulation in my mind. Emotions, feelings and remnants emanate from the heart & mind freely. 

To begin with, it is an old saying in MBA corridors "If you can survive the first term in an IIM, you can survive almost everything in life". Believe me, this claim is not even a bit exaggerated. A constant hustle to meet deadlines, CV pointers, induction processes for Clubs & Committees, case preparations for classes scheduled the next day, sleeping at 4 am and up again at 7:30, quizzes, submissions, projects, gelling up with folks around in the name of networking, everything felt overwhelming day 1 onwards. But amidst everything so daunting, how days, months and 2 years flew, is still a mystery to me. It was one hell of a ride. Your comfort zone is broken & shattered but then you realize smooth seas never carve skillful sailors. The complexity and magnitude of the havoc Year 1 at IIM wrecks on you is something which is inexplicable. There is physical, mental & emotional imbalance surely but as Darwin pointed out- "Adaptation leads to survival of the fittest"

By God's blessings or mere fortune, I had a wonderful soulful & care free room mate Parth. There was not even a single incident of any fight, animosity or harshness, but arguments prevailed primarily due to one single reason which was eventually understood & appreciated, though towards the fag end of the course. 2 completely different individuals managed to co-exist & flourish. Hostel 4 - 320 was further graced by the positive & lively presence of Shreya, not only my lovely sister but also one of the best soul I found at IIM-R. How both of them celebrated my achievements & victories, rare & pure hearts can do.  My fondness, bonding & love towards both of them exceeds my attachment to everything materialistic & non materialistic I gained & achieved in the institution.

 

 

The first year witnessed intense competition for summer internships, case competitions, people trying to leave their mark academically, the trifecta of brand, package & role as they call it. Studying almost 25 diverse subjects in 3 terms, endless parties & dinners (I rarely attended), whenever you thought the pressure had peaked, life threw another challenge at you the very next moment.

I would be failing in my duty if I do not mention the "Power Group"- 4 individuals- each a master in its own craft- who were constant team mates in almost every group project. Amidst discordant notes, disagreements, continuous refinements, power dynamics, fights, misunderstandings, how we managed to stick together and produce excellent final end products. This power group had its due share of envy from outsiders & negativity & friction but camaraderie overpowered everything else.

These 2 years have been a truly transformational experience for me both personally & professionally. Life humbled me in ways I had never imagined & I mellowed down & cooled down with age may be or may be as time elapsed. I had always valued and prioritized success, fame, popularity over everything else. I still do but these 2 years taught me the importance of the softer & perhaps more critical aspects of life, friends, family, relationships, love, bonding etc. The individual I was at 21 or say 22 is poles apart from the individual I am at 25. At 20 you feel you will conquer the world, at 25 when you are a part of the ocean, you realize in the gigantic universe and larger scheme of things, you are no more than a speckle of dust. You have got no point to prove to the world outside, but to only a handful set of people to whom you are accountable & answerable. Wisdom and composure kick in beautifully and you let go of many relationships & people in life who were transient, temporary and were only masquerading as your well wishers in the first place. No accolade or award seems as exciting & no failure seems as mammoth as it used to seem at 20.

As part of a collaboration with TATA Steel, we were taken to different villages in Chhattisgarh, with the aim of rural sensitization and suggesting reforms for social impact. I visited a village named Dhutitola and that 2 day visit left a long lasting impression & an indelible mark upon me. The village was devoid of basic sanitation, electricity and even educational facilities and I realized that we as the affluent class are privileged to live in a country called India, the downtrodden & impoverished reside in a nation called Bharat. There was a complex societal and caste fabric which dominated the village and these social realities left a part of me hollow & you begin to wander how can you become the catalyst of change in the society in general, something much beyond leading a metropolitan life and drawing a handsome pay check. 

 

After the summer internship ends, the much sought after second yr begins. Year 2 is exciting due to various reasons, you choose your own electives, single hostel rooms, ample time for pursuing hobbies & extra curriculars & most importantly the reverse countdown of 9 months before you step out into the world which is VUCA- Volatile, Uncertain, Complex & Ambiguous. Personally life came to me a full circle in year 2 & I can surely say without an iota of doubt that Year 2 at IIM-R was the best time of my life in the two & a half decades of my humble existence. Cultural events, Navratri, Halloween, Ganesh Utsav, Deepawali & I missed out on none. People in year 2 have celebrated, ranted, got frustrated, cried, persevered , struggled, shined in the final placements but events like this provided solace amongst the chaos, madness & the comparative rat race.

Another opportunity for which I shall remain grateful forever was when I was selected as an academic tutor for first yr students in the Quantitative Methods (Mathematics) course. I felt through this initiative,  I could repay a fraction of what the institution had given me and also this exercise kept me in the vicinity of Mathematics - A subject in which I have immense interest & respect for. 

Faculty members & teachers at the institute were brilliant and I was always greeted with warm smiles & blessings whenever I visited them even beyond formal classroom hours. They often said that one is free to take his/her own faltering steps in these 2 years without the risk of falling hard because teachers are always present to guide and chisel raw stones into polished diamonds. The outside world is brutal & intolerant, so learn the most you can. Now on a random afternoon as I write here, the realization dawns upon me that these words hold tremendous significance.

 

 There are 2 core memories which shall remain etched in my memory till eternity. 11 October - When I was awarded with the Dean's Merit List on the Founder's day of IIM-R. The sheer happiness & smiling faces of people around me was something I earned. The second core memory is from Section wars. The last 4 years had distanced me from my core passion for theatre, stage & oratory. But thankfully no skill of mine had fallen prey to the rust of time. Enacting Ravana, Nukkad Natak, Playing Lord Shiva and the audience giving me the loudest cheer, faculty members appreciating & applauding, getting those  awards & prizes in my art once again, that ultra competitive spirit to be the central character & be unbeatable in the craft was so alive within me & I feel grateful. Section wars had a multiplier effect on my image & popularity within campus.

In second year I had the fortune & privilege of finding a few more batchmates who were constants all throughout. For the paucity of time & word limit, I might not be able to name all, but all of them had a profound impact in my life surely. Anushka - the gracious dancer, fighter & leg puller, Jayesh - Intimidating looks but never ever have I seen this person anxious in life, Deepesh - his endless pursuit for love & much beyond, Tanish - the logical & most calculative person I met at IIM-R. And of course Prishita - the stressed & worried soul on whom I had a constant check for reasons unknown. Her expressions & anxious eyes always expressed much beyond her words - All is fine & I could sense it somehow. There are some people who feel like your very own but there is no scientific explanation to it. May be some divine intervention.

 

As the end came nearer & nearer, my emotions & gratitude for the institution became stronger & stronger. This place had the ability to give me happy tears was beyond my wildest imagination. Having futile discussions & conversations with friends at 4 am in hostel rooms, stepping out at 2 am for Maggi and coffee, abrupt dinner plans, those walks around the campus, analyzing the matrimonial prospects of love birds around you, pulling out pranks, getting ready for a guest lecture in full business formals in a short notice of 20 mins, laughter, memories - May be this shall be the life again but in another life. I have been often asked how closely the movie 2 STATES resembles actual IIM life. My answer 1000 percent. 

Farewells, Scribble day, gifts, cards, mementos each remain imprinted in both my heart and mind. Goodbyes were not easy because you bid farewell to your pseudo family members with whom you are spending almost 18-20 hrs daily, by the virtue of MBA in IIM being a fully residential program. In a batch of 380, I have to be no Nostradamus to predict that contact with 90 percent of the batch will eventually fade out and will be a matter of reunions or get togethers, 7-8 percent will remain in the contact list & only 1-2 percent would remain throughout life. To the 90 percent, all I can wish is tremendous success, happiness and good health. And to the 1-2 percent, I can't even fathom the depth of love & I am not worried because they shall always reside in the deepest corner of the heart.

My pillar of strength , unwavering support & the reason for my indomitable spirit throughout this rollercoaster has been my family, needless to say. Whether it is prayers of my mother or the inspirational & eye opening conversations with my father or learnings from my brother, I shall remain indebted forever. 

I would also like to make a very special mention of 4 of my friends from my school & UG days at Delhi University. Akash & Pranab from my school - Friends known to me since 2006, who were always in touch throughout MBA. Any minor inconvenience or low, and I would always have a light hearted conversation with them, some of which made sense, some did not on a lighter note. Sagar - My dear friend from DU now pursuing his PhD in mathematics, always kept me abreast of the happenings and developments in life. And last but certainly not the least - My best friend - Amisha. There hasn't been a purer form of friendship in my life. I have been criticized, we have fought enough, laughed, mocked a few people, unwise advice has been sought, in the seven years of friendships, instances of praising me were scarce but there is a psychological safety zone where there is trust & belongingness. 24 carat diamond solitaire - As I often say.

It is often said memories fade, bonds diminish but lessons & teachings remain. Beyond the formal MBA curriculum, there are a few learnings which shall act as the guiding light no matter wherever I go. "No body stays on the Everest permanently. Even when you climb the highest of peaks, one has to come back downwards sooner or later" - The true psalm of life. The second lesson - The true litmus test of any bond or friendship is when gloomy days arrive. The person who holds on to you even when your own shadow abandons you in darkness, is the person worth holding onto in life. The third lesson - Everyone worships & admires the beauty of the sun during sunrise and sunsets when the power & radiance of the sun is not at its peak. No one likes the brightest & hottest overhead sun at 12 noon and everyone finds it to be a source of discomfort. Lesson learnt - True well wishers in life are very rare. Respect & love such people & go overboard for them. 

Where life leads me from here, I haven't imagined or wondered, perhaps my foresight isn't crystal clear. But I know the almighty has a plan and he shall continue to lead me to beautiful destinations ahead. I bow my head in gratitude & surrender myself.

The picture above is with the MBA coursework for 2 years and the rigor speaks for itself. 

Neither am I a poet nor am I a philosopher. But meandering thoughts & fleeting emotions have convinced me that an individual's life is analogous to a movie where each character plays his part and departs. Permanence is a myth. The part may be whatsoever big or small, comic or tragic, significant or insignificant, positive or negative. 

To whosoever who is reading this, I just hope I played a good part in your life & I made you smile....

“कल और आएंगे नग़मों की खिलती कलियाँ चुनने वाले,

मुझसे बेहतर कहने वाले, तुमसे बेहतर सुनने वाले

कल कोई मुझको याद करे क्यूँ कोई मुझको याद करे

मसरूफ़ ज़माना मेरे लिये क्यूँ वक़्त अपना बरबाद करे

मैं पल दो पल का शायर हूँ , पल दो पल मेरी कहानी है

पल दो पल मेरी हस्ती है, पल दो पल मेरी जवानी है”

My final words - HAVE A KIND & GENTLE HEART. IT IS GOOD TO BE GOOD. GOODNESS RETURNS MULTIPLIED.

Do drop in your thoughts and experiences if any !!!

Sayonara